Deluded film director Quentin Tarantino would like to ban black people from ever watching his films according to a press update from his publicist. The monstrously-egotistical auteur, whose surname means donkey in Italian, says that blacks haven’t shown him the correct level of […]
Dear David, Now that you are back in ‘Great’ Britain after what I hope was an interesting visit to the West Indies, I just wanted to write this letter to thank you, most profusely, for your eye-opening yet expected input to the political […]
A team of scientists at the University of Creative Knowledge has identified a disgusting, malevolent, repellent creature with no backbone and no moral compass cowardly slithering around the undergrowth near a lake in Florida. The creature, know as a Zimmerman or to use […]
In a recent poll carried out by the University of Creative Studies research department, Republican presidential hopeful Ben Carson polled strongly among hardline bigots, the dim-witted and the foolish it was revealed yesterday. The retired neurosurgeon, sometimes known around DC circles as Uncle […]
As the piggate controversy surrounding David Cameron’s student penile antics continue, a living, breathing pig has come forward to tell of a torrid affair with the prime minister before his rise to power. The Gloucestershire old spot, who goes by the name of […]
“It’s really awesome because it’s got tons of me in it!” says Matt Damon as he described his latest film to a group of fawning journalists during a press briefing earlier today organized by his production company Matt Damon Is God Productions. In […]
Under pressure Chelsea manager José Mourinho was discovered wandering the streets of Central London last night in a disheveled and disoriented state say police sources. Mourinho, whose team is currently battling relegation in the bottom four of the the Premiership, was found mumbling […]
After a marathon 15-hour meeting, all 54 members of the African union agreed to ban Taylor Swift from setting foot on the continent for the rest of her life due to her shooting a video that insults all Africa’s 1.1 billion inhabitants. Swift’s […]
London’s Notting Hill Carnival was placed on high alert yesterday as intelligence reports suggest a gang of hipsters are planning on forcibly taking it over and imposing their own awful ‘culture’ on the event. Due to the increasing gentrification of London’s inner city […]
“I reckon it’ll be heard about 2,000 times,” says Niles Wiley, the new Tarantino film’s Added Violence and N-word Adviser, as he estimates the number of times the N-word will be uttered in forthcoming western flick The Hateful Eight. The film is currently […]
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