Taylor Swift Banned From Entering Africa Because Of Diabolical Video

Taylor Swift

“I’m dreaming of a white Africa.”

After a marathon 15-hour meeting, all 54 members of the African union agreed to ban Taylor Swift from setting foot on the continent for the rest of her life due to her shooting a video that insults all Africa’s 1.1 billion inhabitants.

Swift’s promo video for her new single Wildest Dreams was variously described as ‘a white supremacist dreamworld’, ‘a brilliant post-modern rumination on the state of American romance’ and ‘crap’ by music critics.

The video features a bunch of safari-outfitted white people kissing each other on some unspecified Savannah-like plains with elephants and zebras in the background. Black people are conspicuous by their absence.

An unidentified spokesperson for the African union said: “Taylor Swift’s new video is like a version of Tarzan played by Cecil Rhodes and directed by Ridley Scott with an extra sprinkling of British colonialism.

“It’s a nightmare depiction set during a nightmare period and we don’t want her back.”

Ms Swift claimed that the reason she didn’t use black people in the video was because she couldn’t find any black people in Africa at such short notice and that she ultimately wanted a more white-ish look just like the part of Pennsylvania where she was raised.

Swift hopes that giving all proceeds from the video to helping a couple of giraffes and a rhino will soothe any offence caused but this is unlikely.

She also hoped her video would evoke the African continent the way ‘Africa’ by soft-rock act Toto did. In this regard she has succeeded say many critics.