USA

Border Wall Built Around Donald Trump

Border Wall Built Around Donald Trump

The American people have overwhelmingly given their support to Donald Trump’s border wall idea but have decided it would be better if the wall was built to contain Donald Trump instead of keeping out illegal immigrants. The 30ft-high circular wall, manufactured in Mexico, […]

24 November 2015 · Politics, USA
Neighbors Surround Man Stockpiling Over 100 Patti LaBelle Pies

Neighbors Surround Man Stockpiling Over 100 Patti LaBelle Pies

A man has barricaded himself inside his house after neighbors threatened to tear him apart if he doesn’t give up his entire hoard of 100 much-sought-after Patti LaBelle sweet potato pies. Jim Jasonsson bought every last pie from his nearest Walmart in Los […]

18 November 2015 · Film & TV, USA
Former Klansman David Dukes To Host Saturday Night Live

Former Klansman David Dukes To Host Saturday Night Live

After selecting Donald Trump to host Saturday Night Live, creator Lorne Michaels has decided to go even further and invite former Grand Wizard of the KKK David Dukes to host an episode this Christmas. Michaels, impressed with the amount of press coverage created by […]

6 November 2015 · Film & TV, USA
Children Flee In Terror As CNBC Broadcast Shocking Program

Children Flee In Terror As CNBC Broadcast Shocking Program

Thousands of irate parents bombarded CNBC with angry calls last night to complain about a live TV show broadcast yesterday evening which caused children to panic, flee in terror, vomit and experience the most terrifying nightmares. Horrified parent Mary-Louise Fogarty said: “At first […]

29 October 2015 · Politics, USA
Ben Carson Says Everything Is Like Slavery Except Slavery

Ben Carson Says Everything Is Like Slavery Except Slavery

GOP presidential front-runner Dr. Ben Carson has added abortion to the long list of things he thinks are comparable to slavery although, rather oddly, he does have a very favorable view of slavery which somewhat undermines his numerous comparisons. In addition to abortion […]

28 October 2015 · Politics, USA
Tarantino Wants To Ban Black People From Watching His Films

Tarantino Wants To Ban Black People From Watching His Films

Deluded film director Quentin Tarantino would like to ban black people from ever watching his films according to a press update from his publicist. The monstrously-egotistical auteur, whose surname means donkey in Italian, says that blacks haven’t shown him the correct level of […]

19 October 2015 · Film & TV, USA
Scientists Discover Repellent Zimmerman Creature

Scientists Discover Repellent Zimmerman Creature

A team of scientists at the University of Creative Knowledge has identified a disgusting, malevolent, repellent creature with no backbone and no moral compass cowardly slithering around the undergrowth near a lake in Florida. The creature, know as a Zimmerman or to use […]

1 October 2015 · USA
Racists, Morons And The Empty-Headed Show Strong Support For Ben Carson

Racists, Morons And The Empty-Headed Show Strong Support For Ben Carson

In a recent poll carried out by the University of Creative Studies research department, Republican presidential hopeful Ben Carson polled strongly among hardline bigots, the dim-witted and the foolish it was revealed yesterday. The retired neurosurgeon, sometimes known around DC circles as Uncle […]

28 September 2015 · Politics, USA
Napa Valley Wine Trains Introduce Racist Membership Scheme

Napa Valley Wine Trains Introduce Racist Membership Scheme

After a successful two-week trial, Napa Valley Wine Trains will begin rolling out their new racist membership scheme which ensures that some of their hate-filled, scum-of-the-earth customers are given every opportunity to exercise their racism while sipping on delicious wines and enjoying the […]

24 August 2015 · USA
‘Including A Black Man Sends Out The Wrong Message’ Says Alabama University

‘Including A Black Man Sends Out The Wrong Message’ Says Alabama University

Officials at the University of Alabama were left fuming last night after it was discovered that a black man was somehow allowed into the much-maligned Alpha Phi sorority recruitment video. Senior university employees say having a sole black man among all those scantily-clad, […]

21 August 2015 · Sport, USA