Officials at the University of Alabama were left fuming last night after it was discovered that a black man was somehow allowed into the much-maligned Alpha Phi sorority recruitment video.
Senior university employees say having a sole black man among all those scantily-clad, barely legal beauties could compromise the university’s values and encourage what they refer to as ‘that sort of thing’.
Senior Professor Dr. Wilmington Quotidian was appalled and slightly aroused when he saw the video.
The professor said: “We wanted the video to feature good Southern belles only, and for the most part this was achieved but at about two and a half minutes into the video a nigra pops up and I felt sick to my stomach.
“Sure it’s fine to show our half-naked girlies cavorting around in next to nothing while having fun and drinking cocktails. These girls live a carefree life and that’s how you can be if you are accepted into their esteemed sorority, but the addition of a muscular handsome black fella just sets my alarm bells ringing something rotten.
“What kind of message does that send to prospective pledges and their families if they see a tall athletically-built black man frolicking among our nubile lily-white sorority sisters?
“I can tell you the kind of message it sends and it’s not the wholesome Southern family values we want to promote. From now on we will limit the inclusion of black people in sorority videos to less than one at all times.
The professor was also concerned about the elephant mascot seen twerking in the video.
“How do we know there wasn’t a black man in that elephant suit?” said the professor, “He trunk sure was long.”
Professor Quotidian claims he’s not racist but he does believe in God’s natural order which dictates that whites are on top and blacks are on the bottom.
He goes on to stress that he doesn’t mean that in a sexual way.
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