Politics

Human DNA Found At Republican Rally

Human DNA Found At Republican Rally

Scientists discovered traces of human DNA in the auditorium where Donald Trump held a boisterous and offensive rally earlier today. The rally, which took place in Columbus, Ohio, was packed to the rafters with frenzied Republican supporters, baying for blood and showing little […]

8 December 2015 · Politics, USA
Border Wall Built Around Donald Trump

Border Wall Built Around Donald Trump

The American people have overwhelmingly given their support to Donald Trump’s border wall idea but have decided it would be better if the wall was built to contain Donald Trump instead of keeping out illegal immigrants. The 30ft-high circular wall, manufactured in Mexico, […]

24 November 2015 · Politics, USA
Thatcher’s Clothes To Be Burned At 2,200 Degrees Fahrenheit

Thatcher’s Clothes To Be Burned At 2,200 Degrees Fahrenheit

A collection of items that belonged to Margaret Thatcher are to be burned at a searing hot temperature of 2,200 degrees Fahrenheit after the Victoria and Albert museum turned down an offer to exhibit her putrid rags in their esteemed institution. The collection, […]

4 November 2015 · Europe, Politics
Children Flee In Terror As CNBC Broadcast Shocking Program

Children Flee In Terror As CNBC Broadcast Shocking Program

Thousands of irate parents bombarded CNBC with angry calls last night to complain about a live TV show broadcast yesterday evening which caused children to panic, flee in terror, vomit and experience the most terrifying nightmares. Horrified parent Mary-Louise Fogarty said: “At first […]

29 October 2015 · Politics, USA
Ben Carson Says Everything Is Like Slavery Except Slavery

Ben Carson Says Everything Is Like Slavery Except Slavery

GOP presidential front-runner Dr. Ben Carson has added abortion to the long list of things he thinks are comparable to slavery although, rather oddly, he does have a very favorable view of slavery which somewhat undermines his numerous comparisons. In addition to abortion […]

28 October 2015 · Politics, USA
Dear David Cameron, Thanks For Nothing

Dear David Cameron, Thanks For Nothing

Dear David, Now that you are back in ‘Great’ Britain after what I hope was an interesting visit to the West Indies, I just wanted to write this letter to thank you, most profusely, for your eye-opening yet expected input to the political […]

8 October 2015 · Europe, Politics
Racists, Morons And The Empty-Headed Show Strong Support For Ben Carson

Racists, Morons And The Empty-Headed Show Strong Support For Ben Carson

In a recent poll carried out by the University of Creative Studies research department, Republican presidential hopeful Ben Carson polled strongly among hardline bigots, the dim-witted and the foolish it was revealed yesterday. The retired neurosurgeon, sometimes known around DC circles as Uncle […]

28 September 2015 · Politics, USA
PIGGATE EXCLUSIVE: “I Was David Cameron’s Secret Sex Pig”

PIGGATE EXCLUSIVE: “I Was David Cameron’s Secret Sex Pig”

As the piggate controversy surrounding David Cameron’s student penile antics continue, a living, breathing pig has come forward to tell of a torrid affair with the prime minister before his rise to power. The Gloucestershire old spot, who goes by the name of […]

22 September 2015 · Europe, Politics
Office Workers Banned From Talking About ‘Black Lives Matter’

Office Workers Banned From Talking About ‘Black Lives Matter’

Office workers at TechDorling Inc., a world leader in verbal communication recognition systems, have spent the last year working hard to not broach the subject of the Black Lives Matter movement during lunch and coffee breaks and on the rare occasions they meet […]

14 August 2015 · Politics, USA
The Black Explainer Guide To The First Republican Debate Candidates

The Black Explainer Guide To The First Republican Debate Candidates

The stage is set as the GOP cavalcade of cretins rolls into town for the first Republican debate of the year. Will Trump attack the wives of others? Will the entire fall of western civilization be blamed on Obama? Will Carson continue to […]

6 August 2015 · Politics, USA