Clarence Thomas Now Dignity-Free After Years Of Suffering

Clarence and friends

Clarence with some of his people

Supreme Court member, self-loather and possible sex pest Clarence Thomas has been declared completely dignity-free by doctors after years of suffering.

After penning a jaw-dropping dissent on same sex marriage that’s been described as either ‘perfectly logical’ or ‘dumb as fuck’, Thomas finally gave up the last of his dignity which was weighing heavily on his shoulders for quite some time.

Doctor Marcus Areola of the Westinghouse Hospital who’s been tending to Thomas said: “He’s been in intense pain for years.

“Having even the slightest shred of dignity was too much for Clarence so after a thorough scan of his brain and his heart it is with some relief that I can say he is now completely dignity-free.”

The aging affirmative action hater and beneficiary started losing his dignity around the time he developed an addiction to hardcore pornography, in particular the work of Long Dong Silver.

Not long after, his dignity declined further when his interest turned to pubic hair and large sexual organs.

Once he reached the Supreme court bench, whatever dignity he had left began to wane especially when he started worshiping a strange, evil deity known as ‘massa’.

Thomas hopes to remain dignity-free for the rest of his time on the Supreme Court so that dignity never gets in the way of his judgements.

He hopes to continue doing good work for all the people that look up to and respect him, and perhaps, black people.