As the piggate controversy surrounding David Cameron’s student penile antics continue, a living, breathing pig has come forward to tell of a torrid affair with the prime minister before his rise to power. The Gloucestershire old spot, who goes by the name of […]
Under pressure Chelsea manager José Mourinho was discovered wandering the streets of Central London last night in a disheveled and disoriented state say police sources. Mourinho, whose team is currently battling relegation in the bottom four of the the Premiership, was found mumbling […]
London’s Notting Hill Carnival was placed on high alert yesterday as intelligence reports suggest a gang of hipsters are planning on forcibly taking it over and imposing their own awful ‘culture’ on the event. Due to the increasing gentrification of London’s inner city […]
In an effort to stem what they feel is an unacceptable onslaught of migrants, the Conservative party will, from now on, base their handling of the crisis on hit TV show The Walking Dead, it was announced earlier today during a ministerial press […]
Cecil the lion will become the first animal canonized as a saint by the Catholic Church after his death caused a massive and unprecedented outpouring of human blubbering it was announced earlier today. The deluge of tears was prompted by being shot by […]
Prime Minister David Cameron has expressed admiration for India’s caste system as he plans to adopt a similar system in the UK to bring the country more in line with the Victorian era, a period Cameron is particularly fond of. The prime minister […]
A royal spokesman today revealed that murderous psychopath Adolf Hitler made secret visits to Buckingham Palace in 1933 for tea and scones with members of the royal family, some of whom were recently revealed to have ‘sieg heilled’ back in the thirties like […]
Tissue sales shot through the roof as millions of pathetic losers throughout the world purchased dozens of packets to mop up their hateful tears caused by Serena Williams’ latest victory at Wimbledon. Many of those seen whimpering like an injured puppy or balling […]
Media mogul Rupert Murdoch is stepping down as leader of 21st Century Fox to take up the role of Prince of Darkness recently vacated by Christopher Lee who sadly passed away last month. At a packed press conference earlier today the Australian octogenarian, […]
The European Union has tonight threatened to treat Greece just like they would an African nation if they continue to behave in a way that displeases Germany, France, the UK and the other more powerful member states. During the latest emergency meeting, EU […]
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