Rupert Murdoch Takes Over As Prince Of Darkness

Rupert Murdoch

Like a fox out of hell!

Media mogul Rupert Murdoch is stepping down as leader of 21st Century Fox to take up the role of Prince of Darkness recently vacated by Christopher Lee who sadly passed away last month.

At a packed press conference earlier today the Australian octogenarian, who had just arrived from his appearance at the World Satanic Conference, explained why he believes he has the perfect devilish qualities for the position.

“Once I heard the role was up for grabs I couldn’t wait to throw my hat into the ring,” said Murdoch, “especially if the hat hits a simpering Guardianista hard in the face causing multiple bruises.

“My work speaks for itself. For the last 40 years, I’ve been at the helm of the world’s most reviled and vicious media empire.

“I’ve backed the wickedest regimes with my hideous network of misinformation and misdirection.

“I have wreaked havoc on the poor, women, immigrants and filthy liberal scum throughout my career and my contribution to world hate levels cannot be overlooked.

“I am the angel of the bottomless pit and the god of demons. My reign over the Earth will shroud this foul land with over a ten thousand years of terror and villainy the likes of which has not been seen since the Nazi regime.

“I will bring pain and pestilence wherever I roam and because of the Internet I roam pretty much everywhere.

“Just take a look at my track record and you’ll see why I’m the perfect fit.”

After the press conference, Murdoch was whisked away for a celebratory dinner. He emerged a couple of hours later covered in blood while cackling like a demented wolf.

A Guardian reporter who was at the restaurant at the same time hasn’t been seen since.