Strange Alien Creature Seen In Nina Simone Film

Strange Alien

“Take me to your leader. I come in peace.”

Film critics attending a packed press screening of the new Nina Simone film in Los Angeles were stunned to find that the biopic does not actually feature a depiction of Nina Simone in any shape or form.

Instead they were shocked when a strange alien creature with weird skin, a rubber nose, buck teeth and a spongy hair wig turned up onscreen.

Douglas Turnbuller, head of the Black Critics Society said: “I was expecting a film about Nina Simone but there was no Nina Simone at all. All I got was this bizarre, skinny being from another galaxy in crude blackface and a wig from Wal-Mart. Somebody should’ve told me it was a horror film beforehand.”

Valerie McNae of the Harlem Film Agency was also dismayed by the lack of Nina. McNae said: “I was hoping it would be as good as Ray with Jamie Foxx but Nina didn’t even turn up. All we got was this boney-ass minstrel with Halloween hair, boot polish on her skin and comedy teeth. I hope Nina’s ghost comes back to do some haunting at the box office when this film’s released. That’s if it gets released.”

“And what’s the deal with that actress anyway? Can’t she make a film in her own skin? First she was blue, then she was green and now she looks like Al Jolson in The Jazz Singer. I wonder if she’ll do whiteface next.”

After the screening many of the critics booed the film with some suggesting they might sue the film company for fraudulent misrepresentation.

Some critics were so disappointed they’ve given up critiquing films altogether and the furore surrounding the film has sent the director into hiding with full police protection.

In other news Meryl Streep is tipped to play Maya Angelou in the next feature from the director of The Help with Scarlett Johansson playing Maya in her early years.