Star Wars Episode VIII To Feature Nothing But Black People Says Abrams

Star Wars

“Finally they get it right.”

Director J.J. Abrams has announced that the 2017 sequel to the soon-to-be-released Star Wars movie will feature an entirely black cast and will herald a radical all-black future for the franchise.

The new film, provisionally titled Star Wars: Episode VIII – The Rise Of The Nubious, will feature the largest black cast ever assembled for a Hollywood movie in what the director calls ‘a sparkling new galaxy of brilliant blackness’.

Every role in the new film will be played by blacks including droids, aliens, holograms and in a surprising move that’s certain to raise eyebrows, all the white characters will be played by blacks using state-of-the-art computer techniques courtesy of FX house Industrial White and Magic.

Abrams was enthusiastic when he announced the new approach at this morning’s press call: “We’re really excited to be going in this new direction”, said the giddy director.

“It’s time for all of us to face up to the fact that black people are the future so we better get used to it.

“The sooner we accept the inevitable the better it will be for all of us when the future arrives.”

White supremacists meanwhile have vented their anger on social media at the new direction but Abrams says they can always indulge their Aryan fantasies by watching the old Star Wars movies which will be updated with computer-generated Nazi uniforms.

Abrams added: “We shouldn’t live in fear of a black planet. We should positively welcome a black universe.”