NYC Approves Separate Black And White Entrances

Blacks at the bottom, whites at the top.

A new apartment block with separate entrances for black and white residents has been given the green light in New York.

Developers of the 33-floor, 219 unit tower on Manhattan’s wealthy Upper West Side were given a healthy tax break after presenting plans to include 55 racially-segregated ‘black people’ apartments as part of the project. The rest of the apartments will be made up of luxury, high-end dwellings for New York’s white elite.

These whites will enter the prestigious complex using the gold and marble-encrusted front door which leads to an opulent, air-conditioned reception area complete with four concierges, bespoke Armani-designed seating, smoked salmon and caviar canapes and a complimentary champagne bar to ease the stress of the tortuous lift journey to the stinking rich white occupant’s palatial pad.

The blacks, however, will enter via the rat-infested, piss-stained back alley where a ‘black door’ will be heavily-patrolled by private security who have the authority to question and search every person leaving or entering the building.

In addition, blacks will be forced to leave the building for at least 8-hours a day during which time their apartments will be scrutinized for drugs, weapons, stolen goods or other signs of criminal activity.

All black residents are under a strict curfew and must be back in their apartments by 19:00 every evening. If they miss this deadline they’ll have to find alternative sleeping arrangements as the building will be locked with no one going in or out. The white residents can come and go as they please.

Whites will also have 24-hour access to all the amenities the complex has to offer including Thai massage, car valeting, an Olympic-size swimming pool, a casino, a spa area complete with sauna and Jacuzzi, a three Michelin-starred restaurant and male and female prostitutes to cater for their every sexual whim.

If one of the black residents tries to gain entry to the building by accidentally using the wrong entrance the heavily-armed security will point out their mistake ‘in a firm manner’ and then ‘forcefully direct them ‘ to the correct entrance using German Shepherd dogs that haven’t been fed for a week.

So far, no black person has expressed any interest in renting an apartment in the building although many have asked about helping with its construction specifically with regards to the foundations or the building’s structural integrity.