Too Many Blacks In Star Wars Say Geeks

Lupita Nyong’o

May the taunts be with you.

Enraged dorks stormed the Internet today to express displeasure at the ‘outrageous’ number of blacks cast in the new JJ Abrams Star Wars movie.

Lupita Nyong’o and John Boyega are currently the only two blacks cast in the film but for some pig-ignorant, perpetually-single techies, two is far too many.

These eggheads have previously grumbled about blacks in The Hunger Games, Thor and The Avengers but Star Wars is the most cherished film in all of geekdom and they’re not going to let this pass without verbalizing their virulent and illogical claptrap.

Russian nerd Anton Lazyginovsky said on the StarHoard website: “There’s no need to have blacks in this film. It’s perfectly fine with a completely white cast and crew thank you very much. Whoever heard of blacks in space anyway? Everyone knows that a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away in an imaginary universe everyone would be white. Duh!”

American dork Steve Collataly added his worthless opinion to the debate: “I’m okay with blue people, green people and purple people but black people is going too far. If they want to be in space why don’t they get their own universe? And by the way, do we have to have black people in everything? Aren’t white people good enough already?”

Such opinions are now sadly being posted all over the Internet despite the Star Wars films being set in an imaginary world with nothing fixed regarding race or skin tone.

British dweeb Janet Harries was also dismayed at the casting adding: “I don’t mind blacks in the film as long as they play characters like Jar Jar Binks who, strangely enough, I don’t want in the film either. If we must have blacks then I hope they start out black when they’re evil and turn white when they’re good again. Just like Darth Vader did.”

Star Wars has used black actors in the past but they usually get killed off like Samuel L. Jackson or they simply disappear like Billy Dee Williams. Little is known about the fate of the current crop of black talent but there may finally be a hero among them.

Not all the opinions were negative, however, as many black geeks went online to show their support for the casting.

Black brainiac LaShawn Perkins said: “I’m really excited about the new films, especially the black characters. We play second fiddle to whites in films set on Earth but now we can do the same in another galaxy. Being treated like second best doesn’t get cooler than this.”

Image: Helga Esteb /