Human Zoo Opens In Congo


“Would you like to buy our oil?”

Africa’s first Human Zoo opened in the Democratic Republic of Congo today to give locals a rare chance to observe the strange people of Norway in their natural habitat.

A complete family of healthy Norwegians was shipped over from lightest Europe for the exhibition which runs until later in the year.

Congolese Exhibition curator Professor Pierre Muamba of the University of Creative Knowledge decided to open the zoo after visiting Norway for a research project. There he closely observed the Norwegian people and their bizarre ritualistic behavior.

Professor Muamba said: “Upon arriving in Norway I quickly noticed the lack of eye contact and the complete inability to engage in conversation. You have to meet with them several times before they get used to you. Then they might speak to you but it won’t be much. And they never smile despite being filthy rich.”

Much preparation was needed to ensure the Norwegians could survive the warm Congo weather including building an artificial fjord and forest so that the Norwegians don’t get too homesick.

The professor said: “To keep the Norwegians comfortable we had to create special refrigerated enclosures to reproduce their natural habitat which is covered in snow and chilled to around -10° Fahrenheit. Any higher and the Norwegians cannot breath. Also, they have to be kept out of the sun else they melt into butter which is coincidentally one of their favorite delicacies.”

The professor had to be particularly careful when handling the Norwegians as they’re very sensitive around people different from themselves. The professor didn’t want to take any risks so anything that can be used as a weapon was removed from the enclosure just in case.

“They should be handled carefully,” said the professor. “They often dislike other cultures and religions which can sometimes manifest itself in outrageous acts of wanton violence so we’re not taking any risks.”

Unfortunately, the Norwegian population is under threat so this could be one of the last chances people outside of Norway get to see them, as bears and trolls are hunting them to extinction. Breeding them in captivity is an option however.

As well as being able to interact with Norwegians visitors to the zoo can feed them by purchasing packets of their disgusting food including stinking fish, brown cheese and a sheep’s head.