Hillary Clinton Promises To Say ‘Thank You’ If Millions of Blacks Vote For Her

Hillary Clinton

“Vote Hillary 2016!”

While on the campaign trail Hillary Clinton has today announced what she plans to do to help solve the issues facing America’s black citizens if she’s elected.

“Today many African Americans face debilitating issues such as horrendous police brutality, unfair rates of incarceration, and persistent job and housing discrimination,” said Clinton, “and once I’m installed in the White House I hope my saying thank you to all the black people that voted for me might go some way towards alleviating those problems.

“I therefore urge all blacks to vote for me in 2016 and I promise in return I will say a big thank you during my victory celebrations.

“I give this guarantee to all black Americans and I’m a woman of my word.”

The Democratic prospect went on to propose further initiatives to help black people if she’s elected including kissing black babies, visiting a black church with a gospel choir and posing for pictures with lots of smiling black people in the background.

Clinton agreed that black lives do indeed matter but she was keen to point out that right now black votes matter more.

Image: U.S. Department of State [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons