God Names Idris Elba Sexiest Man Alive

Idris Elba


God Almighty, otherwise known as the king of kings, the lord of lords, or just God has decided in his infinite wisdom that the sexiest man alive is Idris Elba.

The details of God’s choice was published on God’s official website which can only be accessed on the Heavenet – an exclusive celestial information network for those existing on a higher plain. Most humans, however, cannot access Heavenet due to licensing restrictions.

God cited Elba’s mellifluous British accent, his brooding and dominant sexual magnetism and his ability to make ordinary mortals weak at the knees from a distance of at least 300 feet as his primary reasons for choosing ‘Big Driis’.

God also enjoyed Elba’s stunning performance in the Mandela film and he’s quite keen on the Thor films especially the yet-to-be-made 2017 sequel which God has seen already because he’s God.

And because God is all-knowing and all-seeing, his opinion counts much more than anyone else’s.

Now that God’s poll is published he said all other polls are hereby declared ‘shit’.