Classic ‘Black Man’ Defense Not Working For Oscar Pistorius

Oscar Pistorius

“Damn, why did I get a Black judge?”

The defense team in the Oscar Pistorius trial have admitted to using the classic ‘I thought it was a black man’ defense which has worked well in similar trials. The ‘I thought it was a black man’ defense is popular among white South Africans in the rare cases they’re ever brought to trial for shooting the wrong person.

The defense claims that when you do not know who is in your bathroom behind a locked door in your property then you must assume it’s a Black man and shoot wildly as many times as you can to guarantee a bloody death. Then you have to say that you didn’t mean to kill anybody when in court.

Oscar Pistorius said in his defense: “If it had been a fearsome Black man I shot to death in cold blood and not my beautiful blond girlfriend then I would be hailed a hero and not the common criminal scum the media is painting me to be. What if it had been a monstrous, rage-fueled Black man hell bent on burglary, rape and other unmentionable horrors and not a lovely innocent white woman merely using the lavatory for its intended purpose? It was just my bad luck that it turned out this way. And firing four shots at point blank range into a toilet door before identifying who is in there is the kind of protective behavior that is completely normal in South Africa.

“It’s completely reasonable and even rational to fire wildly at a closed door without even the slightest knowledge as to who or what is behind that door. I only hope the judge sees it from my completely clear-headed and responsible point of view that I genuinely thought it was a savage Black man behind the toilet door and not a saintly white woman. If I can convince the judge that was in my mind then I’ll get away with it.

“Is there any other gun-toting South African armed with flesh-devouring bullets who lives in an all-white, heavily-patrolled, low crime gated community who would not have done the same?”

Throughout the trial, Pistorius is finding it difficult to convince the public that shooting someone who is obscured behind a door without establishing that person’s identity is a normal course of action.

Things got even worse when he was asked about his choice of ammunition: “I chose to use bullets that would do the maximum damage because, although a standard bullet kills easily, a more powerful bullet kills even more and I needed such immense firepower to stop a super-human Black man with Herculean levels of strength. Imagine the Incredible Hulk except with black skin not green.”

At the end of the day’s proceedings Pistorius suggested that the ‘I thought it was a Black man’ defense is not working out well for him especially given the complete lack of logic of his ongoing testimony.

“I really wish a Black man had been entering my house for real. In the absence of a Black man to scapegoat for shooting through a toilet door without establishing who was behind the door, I fear I will now be faced with many years in prison which ironically is filled with the very Black men I tried to blame for my crime.

“I wonder how they’ll treat me once I’m inside.”

Image courtesy of: Jaguar PS /