Ben Carson Reveals He Once Operated On His Own Brain

Dr. Ben Carson

He’s thinking of something stupid right now.

Potential Conservative presidential candidate and former neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson has revealed he once operated on his own brain because he felt he needed to remove the parts that made him black according to excerpts from his latest book The White Way Is The Right Way.

Carson carried out the delicate and life-threatening operation while studying at Advanced Idiocy at university. Unfortunately, while attempting to remove the ‘black’ part of his brain which doesn’t actually exist, he accidentally removed the part that gives humans the ability for rational thought and filtering what they say before blurting out any half-baked drivel.

Carson’s views are now dangerously close to lunacy and the deranged ramblings of a psychopathic mental patient although most lunatics and psychopathic mental patients have distanced themselves from his illogical rants in recent years.

Here’s a sample of some of Carson’s statements:

  • Obamacare will make you gay and cause you to have carnal relations with your own sister.
  • The police always have black peoples’ best interest at the forefront of their minds except when they don’t which might be most of the time.
  • Black Twitter is run by ISIS.
  • The snake that tempted Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden was a white liberal.
  • Ebola is God’s way of getting people to stop twerking.

As a result of his pig-ignorant comments Tea Party members have fallen over themselves to praise him and encourage him to go for the presidency in 2016.

Conservatives across America are now shouting the words of encouragement: run, boy, run!

Image: Gage Skidmore [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons