Welfare Queen Discovered In London

“No work for me today.”

A genuine welfare queen, who has barely worked a day in her life and who rakes in millions of taxpayer pounds, has been found living the life of luxury in the heart of London.

Going by the name of Queen Elizabeth II she was discovered lazing around in a gigantic 775-room house which she claims was given to her by the people of Great Britain.

According to sources, her whole family is ‘on the scrounge’ as they too don’t work yet appear to have all sorts of riches at their disposal including fast cars, huge properties, fancy holidays and access to the best fee-paying schools.

Hardworking taxpayer Freddie Cheeseman, who barely scrapes together enough to keep a roof over the heads of his family was not pleased with the discovery.

“She’s got jewels and golden carriages and guards and she’s never had to go to a crappy job just to make ends meet like I have to.

“It’s criminally unfair, but despite her obvious freeloading, for some strange reason I love her and all that she stands for.

“God bless you your Highness. I’ll always look up to you as better than me even if there’s no logical reason for me to do so and you couldn’t care less.”

Further investigations revealed her family was at one time head of a large empire involved in land theft, extortion, intimidation and human trafficking particularly in Africa.