“If you’re black, take a step back. Gosh, that rhymes!”
David Cameron has today announced plans to move this year’s UK Black History Month forward to October 2018 and shorten it to one week so he can concentrate on appealing to the kind of spineless rascals likely to vote for the far-right UK Independence party in the run-up to next year’s election.
Cameron, who delivered a speech at the Tory party conference earlier today pledging more white people on children’s TV and less black people in the pop charts, says that too many of his party members are defecting to a party that makes Hitler look like a communist.
“I can’t be seen pandering to black people and other ethnics while my party is in crisis with all my MPs moving to that bunch of vacuum fuckers and bigots”, said Cameron.
“I have to show the British people that I can be firm on the darkies, so shifting and curtailing Black History Month is the first step in a series of moves designed to improve my standing among good, old-fashioned, traditional middle-England types.
“You know, the ones that elected me last time who read the Mail and the Telegraph and who twitch their curtains anytime someone with a tan walks past their window.
“I really need their votes so that’s the way it has to be I’m afraid.”
Cameron also plans to move Diwali, Ramadan, Yom Kippur and anything Romanian or Bulgarian to the Isle of Man or out in the North Sea somewhere.
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