SCUM!
A team of scientists at the University of Creative Knowledge has identified a disgusting, malevolent, repellent creature with no backbone and no moral compass cowardly slithering around the undergrowth near a lake in Florida.
The creature, know as a Zimmerman or to use its scientific name Zimmermanus Scumus, displays devious and downright awful behavior and appears to be morally repugnant on every measurable level.
The foul creature lacks integrity and has no redeeming features aside from its ability to annoy the hell out of everyone which could cause its demise.
“It’s really amazing,” said Professor Mary Millivant who discovered the beast.
“I never thought we’d find a lower form of life than the type of bacteria found feeding on dog feces but here is the proof that such a debased and ugly life form exists.
“We’ve examined its abhorrent behavior at close quarters and it’s capable of
murdering children, lying in court to get itself out of trouble and using social media to spread pain and hate.
“I would ideally like to dissect it’s innards to see what makes it tick but I fear the insides of this thing would sicken me.
“Alternatively, we could lock it up in some form of institution to observe it over the entirety of its pointless pathetic existence. I reckon the majority of the public would be happy with that.”
The professor warns people to stay away from the creature as it’s highly dangerous although the police say they will do everything in their power to protect it and have already gone to great lengths to do so.
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