Reparations Article Linked To GOP Rage Outbreak

“Aaarrrgghh reparations nooo!”

A compelling and impassioned article arguing in favor of reparations for African Americans is linked to a recent spate of GOP rage outbreaks around the country.

The article, written by Ta-Nehisi Coates in this month’s Atlantic magazine, puts forth a highly-persuasive case for reparations for the suffering and continued disadvantages inflicted by slavery, discrimination, Jim Crow laws and massive prison incarceration.

GOP men and women suffering with the rage are rampaging through the streets of American cities, smashing up storefronts, overturning kiosks and punching anyone seen reading the Atlantic. There’s a large, heavily-armed police barricade outside the Atlantic offices as hundreds of GOP ragers try to storm the building.

Simply hearing the word ‘reparations’ or seeing the word in print is enough for the average GOP voter to seethe with rage and violently attack anyone non-white or liberal-looking while at the same time destroying property and uttering the most disgusting swear words.

Dr. Masters Henriksen of the University of Creative Knowledge carried out controlled experiments to observe the effects of the article on a typical GOP individual.

Dr. Henriksen explains: “Upon first exposure to the word ‘reparations’, the GOP male subject begins twitching uncontrollably and gritting his teeth. After about five minutes he starts foaming at the mouth and after ten minutes he urinates himself. By the time he’s finished the article he’s lashing out at random individuals while blurting out the most poisonous racist epithets.”

There is no cure for the condition but the GOP have called for the banning of the article, its removal from the Atlantic website and the burning of any existing copies of the print edition to contain the outbreak.

The National Guard are on standby to take back the streets if things get too difficult for the police who’ve been given permission to shoot and kill anyone displaying symptoms of the rage condition.

GOP rage can also be induced by Obama, hip-hop, Affirmative Action, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Obama, Hilary Clinton, Immigration reform and Obama.

Unfortunately, the sickness now appears to have spread to the wider population including Democrats and black conservatives.

The majority of African Americans appear immune with many displaying calmness and steadfastness after reading the article.