The European Union has tonight threatened to treat Greece just like they would an African nation if they continue to behave in a way that displeases Germany, France, the UK and the other more powerful member states.
During the latest emergency meeting, EU Über-Führer, Angela Merkel said: “Unfortunately, Greece hasn’t behaved zee vay vee vould have liked after vee imposed strict austerity on zeir people, so vee feel it might be time vor us to treat zem zee same way vee treat black people.”
The measures imposed by the EU could include speaking to Greece in a condescending manner as if it were a child, showing only the terrible, backward parts of Greece on news and documentaries and splitting Greece up into separate colonies each controlled by a different European member state.
In addition, the EU could steal all of Greece’s precious resources, erase Greece from all history books as if Greek history never existed as well as forcing millions of Greeks to work for free for at least 300 years.
Random Greek woman Gina Gianopoulos, who was shocked to hear about the EU plans, said: “One day I could go to bed as a white person and then I could wake up to a world of blackness.
“The major downside to all this is that I won’t have any of the pleasures of actually being a black person such as gorgeous, glowing skin that barely ages, unbelievable strength of character and a hugely-coveted and rich, cultural history.”
Later on, Angela Merkel left the emergency meeting with this chilling message: “Vee vant to send out a vorning to any country zat doesn’t do our bidding. Black status awaits you. Ve vil not tolerate any form of dissent. You haf been warned.”
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