Time for some whitewashing!
After performing badly with black voters causing a heavy defeat at the Democratic primaries on Super Tuesday, Bernie Sanders has changed tack, upped his rhetoric and will now run on a radical new ‘Down With Whitey’ platform.
During a packed press call held in Vermont, Sanders said: “My standing among the African American electorate hasn’t galvanized the way I would’ve liked so in order to address that I pledge to do all in my power to run whitey out of town for good if I get elected.
“I promise, once and for all, to show whitey who’s boss and whoop his ass.”
Despite having a better civil rights record than Hillary Clinton and supporting an end to America’s racist incarceration of black people, Sanders still performed badly among black voters but this determined new stance could change all that.
After the speech many black voters were considering switching their votes to Sanders if he can prove he’s able to go ahead with his promises.
Black voter Sharon DeLauney, who watched the press conference on TV, said: “After carefully analyzing both candidates’ positions on the issues that matter and scrutinizing their fiscal policies with a microscope I can safely say that ‘Down With Whitey’ works for me.
“It shows a clear vision for the future of the United States and that’s the kind of future I want to be a part of.”
In other news, Ben Carson said he will stick with ‘Loving Whitey’ even if he drops out of the race.
Donald Trump, however, is pressing ahead with his ‘Down With Darkies” initiative that’s proving unsurprisingly popular among many white Americans.
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