Applications To Become White Now Open

Come and join us.

Applications for a non-white group to become white are now being accepted by the World Racial Classification Agency for the first time since the beginning of the last century.

Groups not considered white or fully white can now apply for full whiteness which opens up a wealth of opportunities. The last groups to achieve full whiteness were the Irish and the Italians and the lucky recipient of this new white license will enjoy all the benefits of being a part of the ‘world’s most beloved race’.

This ‘once in a lifetime’ chance to become white comes amid rumors that one white group member will lose its whiteness privileges thereby freeing up space for another group to become white. No one knows which group will lose its whiteness but the Greeks and the Spanish are the likely suspects given their poor economies. In fact, it’s been suggested that Greeks may find themselves reduced to Third World status which would be a big blow as they were once the greatest civilization on Earth according to them back in 6th century BC.

To become white all prospective groups or races need to complete a 1,000 page tender document detailing exactly what outstanding qualities they can bring to the white race. They must also list their achievements and the key individuals who brought glory to their people. A shortlist of five groups will then be drawn up and representatives from the shortlisted races will be asked to join a week-long ‘right for white’ workshop at a secret location. This is their final chance to convince the white elders that they have what it takes to be white.

The elders will be looking for key attributes when making their selection such as the successful subjugation of other groups, immense financial reserves, a sense of superiority, displaying normative behaviors and positive biological characteristics which can be contribute to the white gene pool.

Senior White Elder John Smith said: “Being white is the best thing in the world so we expect a lot of folk to apply. The privileges you gain are limitless including no ill treatment when waiting to board a plane, not being followed while shopping, better relations with law enforcement who will barely interfere with you and acceptance into clubs and institutions without fear of rejection because you’re the wrong type. For the group who becomes white, it will be as if a veil is lifted, pardon the pun.”

“Once you’re one of us you can date, intermarry and breed with other whites without any problems as your genetic material will be considered equal to ours. Think about what this could mean for your children and your grandchildren. Leaving behind a white lineage will ensure your group’s survival for years to come.”

“I should also point out that religious affiliation must be declared as this will have a big impact on your compatibility with other majority white groups. Religious friction has caused more problems in the world than anything else so we must ensure your faith does not create a clash of civilizations.”

Various Latin American countries are expected to apply as well as many Asian and Middle Eastern countries. There is no word yet on whether Blacks will apply but some believe certain African countries might be considering applying individually. This would cause considerable division among the wider Black community and might be something that whites will look upon favorably as a divided group is less likely to pose a challenge in the future.

Some have suggested that this offer is merely a way to increase white numbers in light of the increasing power of largely non-white nations such India, China and Brazil. Also, if Africa rises up to its full potential then whites could be seriously challenged in the world domination stakes so we can probably expect further white alliances and offers in future.