Office Workers Banned From Talking About ‘Black Lives Matter’

“We’re just one big happy family.”

Office workers at TechDorling Inc., a world leader in verbal communication recognition systems, have spent the last year working hard to not broach the subject of the Black Lives Matter movement during lunch and coffee breaks and on the rare occasions they meet for an after-work gathering.

The tricky subject of race was once discussed by colleagues back in 1978 and the resulting melee caused $82,000 worth of damage to company property, six sackings and eight hospitalizations. Race was henceforth banned as a topic of conversation as per company policy.

Black computer programmer Wesley Bentley commented on the situation: “I have to keep a good working relationship with these idiots but I would eagerly tell them how it is if given the chance. I have to bite my lip, keep my mouth shut or else I’ll lose my job.

“I once mentioned Trayvon Martin in a conversation about gun violence and everybody went silent. Then they made their excuses and walked away. None of them would look me in the eye for weeks after that.”

Maggie McNae, a white office administrator who witnessed the original fracas back in the 70s said: “I have strong opinions about this whole race thing but I prefer to vent them on the Internet. That way I can speak my raw mind without losing my job or having to look over my shoulder when I leave the office.”

White CEO James Breadson had this to say about the policy: “We try and encourage our employees to keep to soft and non-contentious subjects during breaktime like abortion, voluntary euthanasia, 2016 elections, ISIS and same sex marriage.

“People say we need a national conversation about race but in my experience it’s better for all if we have a national silence about race just like we’ve always had in this country.

“This whole Black Lives Matter thing is a no go area.”