“Jim Crow, never heard of it.”
Professor Bobby Huxington, Mississippi State Education Head of History, will sweep the whole of his state’s dreadful Jim Crow period under a large specially-woven rug that could be the biggest rug in the world experts say.
“Apparently, plenty of stuff went on during the Jim Crow era and hiding it under a very large Persian rug or perhaps one made to order by Ikea, who themselves are no strangers to hiding uncomfortable truths, is our way of dealing with the past by never, ever confronting it,” says Huxington.
When asked what exactly took place that he’s so desperate to hide he said he didn’t want to talk about it and that’s why he’s sweeping it under a rug.
“I reckon it’s time to close the doors on the period between 1870 and 1960 once and for all and never talk about it again even though I’m sure I don’t know what it is we’re not supposed to talk about.”
In addition to hiding the period under a rug, all related newspaper articles and photographs will be destroyed and anyone who mentions anything about what may or may not have taken place will have to leave town when the sun goes down as a punishment, although Professor Huxington never explained what would happen to them if they stay.
“I think it’s time to forget the unpleasantness that might or might not have occurred during this period”, said Huxington, “so that blacks and whites can go forward together in peace and happiness just like we’re doing now.”
Other Southern states are following suit and purchasing equally large rugs to sweep Jim Crow under.
The same states are currently holding talks to manufacture a giant slavery rug that, if laid correctly, could hide up to 300 years worth of history.
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