SAE Frat Boy Breaks Fastest Ever Racist Conversion Record

“Say hello to my new black friends behind me.”

Anti-black chant leader and possible lynching fan Levi Pettit has been added to the latest edition of the Guinness World Records book for smashing the world’s fastest ever racist conversion record.

Former SAE frat member Pettit went from being a smug, entitled bigot to the sorrowful poster boy for racial reconciliation in a record time of approximately 11 days, 3 hours and 46 minutes beating the previous record by 2 days.

Dr. Stephanie Relentson, Senior Falsehood Lecturer at the University of Creative Studies is both baffled and astonished at this rapid change in belief.

Relentson said: “Just last week he wanted to prevent black people from joining his fraternity by suggesting hanging them from a tree yet within an amazingly short period of time he now wants to extend his hand of love to black people and make the world a better place. It’s a miraculous transformation.”

Pettit, who could not explain where the filthy chant came from but says it just magically appeared in his head, claims to be 100% racism-free and completely reformed.

He also says he no longer has any ill feelings towards black people whatsoever and he promises not to lynch any black people if he can help it.

As part of his conversion he will always be seen in public flanked by a bunch of desperately out-of-touch black people who gaze upon him just like they would a naughty child who’s broken an ornament: with love and pity.

Now that he’s put this sorry episode behind him Pettit says he hopes to go on and lead a normal life and become the CEO of a large Fortune 500 company although he hasn’t said whether he’ll employ any black people yet.

Previous record holders for fast racism conversion include Michael Richards, Paula Deen and Dog The Bounty Hunter although none of them have had their records properly verified therefore remain resolutely racist.

Update: Pettit was last night seen at an Oklahoma Klan rally but claims he thought the robes and the burning cross had something to do with praying for forgiveness. He says it was a genuine mistake.