‘Race Separate’ Campaign Launched By Barneys

Let’s stick our heads in the sand.

High-end purveyors of over-priced, pointless tat Barneys, well known for making black shoppers’ lives a misery, have today launched the ‘Race Separate’ initiative intended to continue the 400-year long lack of conversation and understanding between blacks and whites regarding racial inequality.

As part of the initiative, employees have begun writing #RaceSeparate on shopping bags, urging customers to completely disengage in conversations on race relations and never to broach the subject again for the rest of their lives except when verbally insulting someone or when spouting abuse on social media.

Theresa Banquet, Senior Publicity Officer for Barneys said: “Black and whites don’t socialize together, we don’t pray together, we don’t live in the same neighborhoods and we barely go to school together so in the spirit of keeping things exactly as they are, which benefits many Americans who look like me, we’ve decided to never, ever mention anything to do with race again except in the privacy of our homes or in the comments section of popular news websites.

“Like most large American corporations we want these lack of discussions to foster greater animosity and hatred between races because this is what our key customer base wants and we want to please them first and foremost.

“In addition, we’ve instructed our employees to continue to display outright hostility to anyone they don’t like the look of.

“This, we hope, can lead to increased buyer humiliation, greater misunderstanding and perhaps even arguments. At that point we’ll call the police and you know what happens next.”

When asked whether the racial profiling of black customers would continue as before, Banquet said: “Things are just fine the way they are. Just ask Jay Z. He’ll tell you.”