Kim Kardashian’s Butt Announces Solo Career

“Butt, I never meant to hurt you.”

In a surprise move announced last night Kim Kardashian’s butt will leave Kim to embark on a solo career.

The butt cited poor treatment by Kim as well as the realization that it’s better off without her as the main reasons for the split.

At a hastily-arranged press conference the butt said: “I got tired of being exploited and sat on by Kim Kardashian and just displayed like a piece of meat.

“It’s clear to everyone that I’m the biggest part of her brand and the real reason for her success, so now is the time for me to part my cheeks and show the world what I can do.”

It is believed Kanye West is severely upset by the split and has been talking to the butt to try and get it to change its mind but according to unnamed sources, the butt remains steadfast.

Regarding the butt’s future, entertainment industry insiders say the butt’s held several secret meetings with Steven Spielberg and Christopher Nolan about a possible sci-fi film role.

Also, there’s talk of a recording contract with Timbaland or Pharrell Williams being lined up to produce.

There’s no word on what name the butt will choose when it launches its career but strong consideration is being given to Nat-ass-sha or Ass-shly.