Whites Listened To Blacks For Five Minutes During Ferguson Protests

“I’ve been like this for 400 years!”

White people listened to black peoples’ concerns for a total of five minutes during the Ferguson protests according to a survey carried out at the Poo Research Center.

According to the research, whites across America devoted up to a full five minutes of their busy schedules watching TV news coverage while considering the plight of black people and their concerns regarding police brutality imposed upon them by a white supremacist society.

85% of whites said they would’ve given the situation more time but they were watching Netflix instead. The other 15% said they were too busy stuffing their faces with burgers and bacon and that they hope to catch up the next time an innocent black man is shot.

Random white person Angela Wilson said: “I’m so glad those blacks in Ferguson sorted out their grievances. Now we should focus on Darren Wilson the real victim of this whole thing. He needs as much support as we can give him because he’s probably torn up about having to shoot a teenager.”

Another random white person Edward Guttenstein said: “Now it’s all over, blacks and whites can go back to living in peace and harmony like we did before so we can put the specter of racism to bed once and for all. Progress at last.”

Yet another random white person Douglas Dorling said: “I hear they brought in tanks and rocket launchers. I don’t know who this Ferguson fella is but he sure caused a whole lotta ruckus.”

The researchers had to explain to white people taking part in the survey that listening to the latest album by Rhianna or going to a Jay Z concert doesn’t count.