“I hate black people, where do I sign?”
To cater for the vast number of whites desperate to use the N-word without losing their jobs or being sued for racial discrimination, the first purpose-built N-word Center opened today on the outskirts of Philadelphia.
The center, which can cater for up to 1,000 haters at once, combines a restaurant/bar area with conference facilities and private discussion rooms. Each area is soundproofed and no cameras or recording devices are allowed so you can speak your mind freely while uttering the most horrendous statements about black people and other minorities.
The marketing blurb on the N-word Center website explains the concept:
“Don’t be a Bieber or a Kramer. Keep your deep-seated hatred of black people hidden by visiting the all-new N-word Center where you can let it all hang out. We promise a discreet setting where your vile intolerant thoughts can be aired among like-minded people and no one will ever know. It’s just like the good old days.”
Emma Jagson, the owner of the N-word center, came up with the idea when she noticed the increasing number of people losing their livelihoods and their reputations due to their abhorrent hatred of blacks.
Jagson said: “The N-word is getting a lot of people into trouble so I seized the opportunity to provide a safe haven for bigots by giving them a space to release their racist fury and not get punished for it.”
Individuals, corporations and political parties can book the center and there’s even special discounts for families and pensioners who are strong advocates of race-based language.
In order to keep clients from getting found out, the N-word Center is located in a predominantly white suburb of Philly with staff that are trained to keep everything confidential. Any staff members caught speaking to the press will be severely reprimanded and probably violently attacked.
Jagson spoke of her future plans for the center: “We’re booked well into next year and Black History Month in February will be our busiest month yet. By then we’ll have a regular singles night and the first of our celebrity lectures including Paula Deen and Jeremy Clarkson all the way from England.
“This center is the first of many as we’re opening up many more across the country and over in Europe where N-word usage is rising.
As well as the N-word, attendees are encouraged to use the F-word when referring to gays and the W-word when referring to Mexicans. They can also freely use other offensive words such as the G-word, the H-word, the P-word, the Z-word, the U-word, the T-word and the Ö-word which is foreign. The words ‘cracker’ and ‘honky’, however, are strictly forbidden as they might offend the patrons.
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