See you in KFC.
A group of disgruntled chickens from the Chicken Liberation Force (ChickLib) marched in Atlanta today against alleged anti-chicken discrimination by the Black community. Chickens claim that Blacks have consistently slaughtered and dismembered them before coating their flesh in a secret blend of herbs and spices then deep frying them to maximum crispiness and consuming their succulent, juicy meat.
Eric, a Rhode Island red and leader of ChickLib said: “The records show that Blacks are committing most of the chicken-eating incidents. The facts speak for themselves. I see plenty of fried chicken shops in the area and most of the patrons are Blacks. The PC liberals in Washington try and shut us up but the American people know the truth and if that makes me a racist then so be it.”
Black people claim that the chickens are brainwashed by a racist society to frame all Black people as chicken-haters after doing nothing more than succumbing to their tasty flesh in a crispy breadcrumb coating.
African American Community Leader Winston Elder is not swayed by what he sees as obvious prejudice: “These chickens are deliberately singling out Black people for their own poultry-based inadequacies. Whites, particularly in the South, have eaten fried chicken just as much if not more than Blacks have. Do you think Blacks got a taste of that crispy, moist skin infused with garlic, chili and onions by ourselves? No. We got the taste because it was forced on us by whites so I think you’ll find that it is they who should be the target of the fowl venom.”
The ChickLib manifesto demands that Blacks cease battering chickens as well as increased protection from being dipped in buttermilk and flour. They also demand that efforts be made to increase the slaughter of alternative birds like guineafowls, geese and ducks who can taste equally as good when quartered, covered in crispy flakes and submerged in hot oil.
Elder continues: “Blacks are merely pawns in the white man’s chicken autonomy. At the top of the fried chicken tree you’ll find a white man raking in the profits. Who owns the chicken farms, who imports the chickens, who sells the chickens, who pushes chickens into our communities? Colonel Sanders was a white man. I rest my case.”
Attempts were made to broker a peace deal between the Blacks and the chickens but both groups remain entrenched on their respective sides: the Blacks reserving the right to eat fried chicken whenever they like and the chickens demanding the right to live without fear of the deep fat fryer.
The chickens went ahead with their march but were all captured and subsequently fried then eaten by the Black counter-demonstrators. The police were powerless to intervene so they joined in the feast.
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