He’s about to blow!
An unknown number of Harry Potter fans are suffering the debilitating effects of a strange phenomenon known as Exploding Head Hate Syndrome which causes their heads to literally explode due to a build up of frustration and anger in their brains.
The outbreak was caused by the casting of a black actress in the role of Hermione Granger in a new Harry Potter play which debuts on the London stage later this year.
When some fans of the wildly successful children’s books heard the news their blood pressure rose to alarming levels before their soft heads burst in a fleshy orgy of bone, blood and brain matter into their breakfast.
Helena Burrison, whose daughter’s head exploded earlier today said: “She was sitting at the breakfast table looking at the TV and suddenly her eyes bulged out of her head and popped out into her orange juice.
“Then her brain rolled out onto her toast then onto the floor and she just sat there looking miserable.
“I could tell she was upset about something but not half as upset as I was as I just mopped the floor half an hour before. And for being such an untidy racist she’s grounded for two weeks.”
Dr. Claire Kelby who studied similar brain explosions when Barack Obama came to power said that such hatred is all too common in the bigoted and will likely get worse as the world changes to a more equitable place.
She urges all racists to buy special headgear to prevent any further head bursting.
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