Cecil The Lion To Be Made First Animal Saint

Cecil the lion

Here he is doing good work

Cecil the lion will become the first animal canonized as a saint by the Catholic Church after his death caused a massive and unprecedented outpouring of human blubbering it was announced earlier today.

The deluge of tears was prompted by being shot by someone who mistook him for an ordinary lion and not a special lion with a proper name and posh friends at Oxford University.

According to senior Vatican bishops, Saint Cecil the Lionheart, as he’ll be known from now on, has displayed all the virtues, holiness and devotion required of sainthood and will be made the first patron saint of social media during a service which will be delivered by the Pope this evening.

Millions of pilgrims and animal lovers are expected to attend the service in the Vatican including celebrities such as Jimmy Kimmel and Ricky Gervais.

Both celebrities are putting their considerable weight behind the campaign to stop future killings of certain animals but not others, like the ones cooked on a hot griddle and placed in a toasted sesame seed bun with ketchup and mustard.

In addition to today’s papal announcement, Cecil will also posthumously receive this year’s Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts to ‘help focus our minds on the hunter/animal wars currently raging across the planet.’

Inger-Marie Andersen of the Nobel Committee said: “His death marks a turning point for humanity.

“Because of his death we can now treat animals with the same love, care and consideration we treat our fellow innocent human beings who we wouldn’t dream of shooting for no good reason whatsoever.”