Racist Banana Buying Soars As World Cup Nears

Brazilian footballer

“You throw a banana at me, I’ll throw a bullet at you.”

Scumbag, knuckle-dragging, racist supporters from all over the world are heading to Brazil for the World Cup and this year is proving to be extra special for those with vicious prejudices as despite being 55% non-white, Brazil is both a monumentally racist country and one of the world’s largest producers of bananas.

Throwing bananas and making crude monkey chants at black players is central to the soccer racists’ enjoyment of the game and with Brazil’s truly hideous race relations and the lack of action regarding the issue, racists will be in paradise.

Moronic racist supporter James Dudley said: “When I heard that Brazil produces 10% of the world’s bananas I was like, great! Now I hear that the blacks are routinely brutalized by the police and oppressed by white Brazilians I feel as though I’ve won the lottery.”

Backward skinhead supporter Nicolai Kozhukhov was equally happy: “Obviously cheering for my team is my priority but dehumanizing black people by making painful and degrading connections to primates is a bonus.”

But FIFA has plans for the racists if they disrupt the game with their vile displays of ignorance.

Offenders caught shouting racist abuse will get a stern telling off in front of the other supporters before being sent back to their seat properly chastised.

If that doesn’t work they could be sent to the back of the stands where the view is limited. And if that doesn’t deter the racists FIFA will mete out the ultimate punishment with a fine of up to $10.

“I am confident I can deal with any racist incidents at this year’s World Cup,” says FIFA head Sepp Blatter who is recognized as being ‘one of football’s most honest individuals’.

Brazilian FIFA representative Marcos Núnez said this about the possibility of racism: “We just want everyone to have fun. If someone wants to throw a banana at a black player then where is the harm in that?

“In Brazil we are very progressive when it comes to race and we treat everyone fairly. Whites first, then blacks. In that order, but everyone gets treated fairly. Sort of.”

“We want all the nice rich white people from overseas to come and have a good time. They should find out about the history of Brazil, the sun, the samba, the nightlife and the Brazilian hospitality.”

Núnez neglected to mention the horrendous prostitution, the police murders, the rampant corruption and that 388-year-long thing that helped create Brazil in the first place, slavery.