Amanda Knox Blames Black Man For Sinking The Titanic

Amanda Knox

“Can I blame a black man now?”

Totally innocent Amanda Knox, who falsely accused her black former boss Patrick Lumumba of murdering her flatmate Meredith Kercher, has now blamed another black man for a series of historic crimes dating back to 1912.

Knox says she’s convinced 24-year old black man James Henry Wellington carried out a series of shocking crimes including sinking the Titanic, the Great Train Robbery and shooting JR from the popular 80s TV show Dallas.

But not everyone is convinced.

A source close to Knox who wants to remain anonymous said that as a child Knox used to point at random black people while walking down the street and shout “he did it” in the hope that she could wrongly implicate a black person for some misdeed.

“Whenever anything went wrong in her life”, the anonymous source said, “she would always try and blame the nearest black person and sometimes she has nightmares and then wakes up in a cold sweat screaming: ‘give me a black man to blame’ such is her desire to pin something, anything on an innocent black man.”

The police, however, are convinced they’ve got their man and they hope to bring charges against Wellington later today once they’ve gathered all the evidence which they describe as ‘compelling’.

They thank Amanda Knox for coming forward with such vital information and urge members of the public that if they blame a black man for crimes there is absolutely no way he could’ve committed they will nevertheless arrest the black man in question and investigate the case thoroughly.

By Scott335 (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons